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Wednesday, October 29, 2008

I swear i will never bother you from today onwards.

myheartjustachesomuch.

Labels: bye

♥ツ 12:37 AM

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I PASSSSSSSSS. I finally pass my FTT after so long. Reason being would be I'm either not free or too busy to attend the practice session or evaluation. HAPPY!! Driving lesson up next. =) -practical. After knowing that I passed my test I'm really excited . The first person I have in mind is you. I'm the first to inform you with that "excited" heart that I pass but I'm disappointed. =( i really am .

After that talk . I’m enlightened . I truly understand the opinion on how people feel towards me le & i did not expect that. Tml pp poster presentation. 9-10 am . I'm the second to present . GOSH!! But for no rhyme or reason I'm not nervous or scared. =) After presentation , "proof " I'm going for cruise vacation in the evening. People miss me k? HAH =p I have predict that I'll be eating and eating non-stop nia. And maybe visiting the casino to try my luck. Scully kana jackpot !! (I'm just dreaming) HAHA.

When i miss you i'll just look at my wallet that contain our pics. =(

Labels: You will always be on my mind

♥ツ 6:49 PM

Take my fear , take my pain away. Take me to a faraway land . Someone pls. i have a good news to share. Something to be commemorate about myself. My tolerance of alcohol has increase due to the fact that mostly everyday I'm drinking . *clap *clap . As time goes on will our memories really fade? Arghhh my stomach hurts now and for no reason my hand just bleed again. Why all at one shot everything is opposing me. why why ?!!!!!!

Am i really a failure in a r/s? Am i not good enough for you? haha stupid qns rite. If i'm good nth of this will have happened. =((((
i'm leaving in another 24hrs time. i really miss you. Perhaps it will be better if i can never come back. never ever again. 1 more day and im gone and his back. =) i'm happy.

Labels: Tell me why

♥ツ 12:24 AM

Monday, October 27, 2008

I'm happy !! really happy for u !!! The pain is excruciating. Way too painful for me to take it but well i just asked for it so who cares. =) Like what you told me sometimes when you don't know some stuffs, its better for yourself but for me i wanna know everything. I'm retarded rite? =(

i really don't know how to react. All i wished is it could be as easy as pressing the button "backspace" and everything will be back to normal. I'm just deceiving myself. haha. pls god give me the power to forget . i really feel fucked up. Everynite is breaking down and crying myself to slp. =((((((((((((((((

Labels: I'm feeling downright miserable

♥ツ 12:34 AM

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Memories u left behind . The truth leave me pain.

Labels: memories

♥ツ 12:38 AM

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Happy Birthday to you. =) May your wish come true .

i don't know why but tears just flow down.

Labels: HAPPY BIRTHDAY

♥ツ 12:02 AM

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Bleeding

Rotten Hand

Saw the "pus" eeeek

Omg !! I see le also scared . Can't imagine that is my own hand! Can you imagine it? Like kana child abuse . *shiver* The caused of it is "heavy punching" Can't help it. It's painful once i closed my fist. =( My hand used to be smooth like a "girl" and now is like so rotten .
The sight of my hand makes ppl turned off.
Anyway feeling dam down so asked ys and kevin for k-pooling session but to my horror they made a wasted trip!! sorry =D The k-pool has shifted to clementi. But i went to check with one of the shop owner on what are they going to do about entertainment centre they stated that it wanted to be renovated but now capitalland decided not to and thus they have to moved back. Hopefully k-pool is being moved back. HAHA. I don't wanna travel all the way to clementi. Thus we went over to the arcade and later to kopitiam becos ys wanted to have his dinner . Order beer too . The feeling of it sucks . Beer don't taste good. =( Next-time will be "uncle" session . Eating PEANUTS and drinking beer. Typical uncle hor. =D

Goodnite.

Labels: It has gone

♥ツ 11:56 PM

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Now times seem very rough but as time will go on,

you will learn to be tough.

Even though they have left

the memories will go on forever.

It sometimes seems there has been a theft,

because loved ones have been taken forever.

We can tell that you're really hurt,

we can see the tears rolling down your cheeks.

Not even a great big hug would help.

Just remember that loved ones are near.

when times is dear, try to have some cheer.

The hard times will pass.

I wished i'm there for you. =\ Baby i wished i can always be there for you when you need me . =(
God pls blessed her!! Remove her misery . Bless her with tons of happiness.

Labels: emptiness

♥ツ 9:55 PM

Saturday, October 18, 2008

I love you so much and I don't know why

I love you so much that it makes me cry

But I'm never gonna break down in front of you

Cause I never want you to know the truth

I never wanted to lose you

And I can't handle the pain

I never thought I'd go through

Those kind of feelings

I don't wanna say I'm sorry

Just to look like a fool
But sorry is the only word

I can think of to say to you

I thought I never loved you anymore
And i'm just lying to myself

But I need you to stay

I want you to be in my life

I wanna make things right

I was so scared of losing you

That I pushed you away

Now all I can do

Is beg you to please stay

You're the one that I miss

But you don't care, thats quite obvious

Well i guess its over, so good bye,

I'm not gonna cry

Anymore

one more day has just passed. i'm trying to pass off each day as it goes.

Labels: a heavy heart, every time i think of you, goodbye, missed

♥ツ 11:33 PM

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Lying back staring at the ceiling , i wanted to call you, i wanted to text you , i wanted to just hear your voice , a voice yelling at me, telling me to jolly well **** off but i held back becos i know that the moment i heard your voice , the words you gotten said would just hurt me . Why all of a sudden i have become such a coward? How could i let you go ? Is it too late to let you know? Everything is just a lie! A big lie and I'm fooled by it. I was looking back at the letter and card you wrote me and everything seems so sweet and nice but too my surprised all was but a lied. River of tears and I'm blinded by it. A few more minutes and it's the 17th of oct . You have given me the best of everything. =) i have never regretted it becos I'm the one who caused all this. "you could never made a heart stay closed to you so why not let it go and searched a better owner?" Andy pls smile.

i'm officially broke and i need to build up my immune system . i'm beginning to feel sick again. =)

Labels: 17th

♥ツ 11:47 PM

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

It's just a miserable night. My imagination is just getting wilder day by day . =/ Sitting at the train and i can practically recall those moments that we had. All in a second and proof is gone. The most terrible thing that happened today is i saw you and my heart just sank deeply. But i'm happy to see that you are smiling and laughing away . =) Am i foolish to still continue ...... all i know is i should stop crapping now. I'm just upset to see that I'm.....

Anyway just came back from cwp . Went to have an early bd celebration for ade . We had JACK PLACE meal for dinner and is damn filling okay!! Movies up next and we caught a funny movie " Big STAN" Not bad quite a nice show ! One word HILARIOUS. Rating would be 9/10. Arghh.. my stomach just hurts. From afternoon till now =/ The pain on my hand has gone numb and the result is having "blue black" on my leg and bruises on my knuckles. What is the cause of it? punching bag!! HAHA. I need a glove!!!

goodnight!

Everyone has been telling me why i still need to think abt you, do things for you yet you don't even care. Is this called love? Why the moment i talk to you , you will flared up? am i tt detestable? I really dont know why . Sometimes i just wonder throughout the night and even during lesson i can't focus. The thing tt upset me the most is within less than a mth you could forget abt me. =) Maybe i should really moved on like wad you do and try going on a date. 0.0 Is our love tt weak tt it can be snapped so easily? Can wad i have given u be replace totally by him? i feel like a total fool. i still wished the best for you.

Labels: =)

♥ツ 11:27 PM

Monday, October 13, 2008

i'm feeling Total FUCKED UP but im happy for you . =)

i'm shocked tt your feelings for me could fade off so fast . =)

Labels: =)

♥ツ 12:37 PM

Sunday, October 12, 2008

It taste bitter but i kinda of love it! = )
I just feel so happy that you are dating now or rather being dated out!!! woot!! Good good good. My presence is getting lesser day by day. Till then it will be gone. =) Counting down..

p/s:Don't drink can. It's not good for your health. Slp early too! Everyday seems like you have not been slping well. I will blessed you everyday! =) Don't worry you have him and all your friends to cheer you up. I wished right now i'm right beside you but i know i can't becos the moment you see me you will flared up. I wished i can hug you tight and never let you go. I really don't wished to see you being in this state.

Labels: I'm feeling downright miserable

♥ツ 4:41 PM

Thursday, October 9, 2008

The Man Who Can't Be Moved

Going Back to the corner where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag I'm not gonna move
Got some words on cardboard, got your picture in my hand
saying, "if you see this girl can you tell her where I am"

Some try to hand me money, they don't understand
I'm not broke I'm just a broken hearted man
I know it makes no sense but what else can I do
How can I move on when I'm still in love with you

Cause If one day you wake up and find your missing me
and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'll see me waiting for you on our corner of the street
So I'm not moving, I'm not moving

Policeman says, "son you can't stay here"
I said, "there's someone I'm waiting for If it's a day, a month, a year"
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go

Cause If one day you wake up and find your missing me
and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinkin maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'll see me waiting for you on our corner of the street
So I'm not moving, I'm not moving,
I'm not moving, I'm not moving

People talk about the guy that's waiting on a girl
There are no holes in his shoes but a big hole in his world

Maybe i'll get famous as the man who can't be moved
Maybe you wont mean to but you'll see me on the news
And you'll come running to the corner
cause you'll know it's just for you
Im the man who can't be moved

Chorus 2x
Going Back to the corner where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag I'm not gonna move

Labels: I'm just an asshole

♥ツ 2:40 PM

Monday, October 6, 2008

Why the moment i heard things about you i get so panicky, get so anxious, get so worked up? It's totally fucked up. God please give me the power to move on and forget abt you. Andy you must know that she doesn't love you anymore she has move on. QUICK move on. @#$@!#!$!@#!^$%&$

Labels: Please give me the power.

♥ツ 10:48 PM

Sunday, October 5, 2008

HELLO !! HAHA. I know is lame. =/
Anyway , my dad brought me a PUNCHING BAG! TY daddy! Did u heard wrongly ? Nooo you did not. It's really a punching bag and also 2 more dumbbell. HAHA. Because i wanted to vent my frustration and sigh this few days too stress up. Hopefully with the help of this punching bag i can temporarily forget everything. =) How i wished i could transform into a punching bag right now. =/ When you look at me,What do you see? Can you see what I really am?I am a punching bag,For everyone to take a shot.And I'll absorb it all.You'll see me swing away,But I promise I won't swing back.'Cause I am a punching bag, and punching bags don't feel a thing. =/ The punching bag is damn big & heavy , carrying it home is almost carrying a horse. haha. Estimated weight 40-50kg. It could weight more..

PICTURE TIME!

The dumbbell! Looks really dumb. =)

*I can't punch the punching bag till my hand recovered. =( It will bleed when i punch it. I think i just deserved for that suffering i had. *

How can I tell her I don't miss her, whenever I'm alone? How can I say it's you I think of, every single night and day . How can i forget about you? Why do i need to care and bother about you since we have broken off. Why? Why the moment i see you i become speechless. Why? When i see you online i feel like talking to you but i know it will just pissed you off. Sigh. The feeling sucks big time! Maybe slping, running round the park 6 rounds, swimming and occupy myself every minute would do the job but i know it can't. FUCK! I can only remind myself tt you are doing fine now and i should not ruined your life. yupp! Guess this life. =) This song is delicated to you. Hope you enjoy it. =)

Labels: dumbbell, memories, Punching bag

♥ツ 12:12 PM

Friday, October 3, 2008

Tell me that all these is not happening. Maybe all this is just a DREAM. Quick wake me up. =)

Labels: Wake me up

♥ツ 10:54 AM

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

why? why ? Do you really hate me so much? Do you really tt detest me? Must you really do till tt extend and forget me ? Perhaps all along it has been a one sided action tt I'm doing. All i know is you have captured my heart and it is worth it. =) i still have one last thing to accomplish. After this my presence will nvr be felt ever ever again. Counting down...

Labels: It is worth it.

♥ツ 8:08 PM

Why do people drink? Reasons?
It helps them to relax, it helps reduce anxiety,it stops them worrying about things, to deal with stress or maybe because they are depressed? Today i had a bottle * alcoholic drink* opps and i thought by drinking it one big gulp down everything could be solved.Everything would be back to normal . Nothing has happened right from the beginning. I'm just too naive. Everything can't be changed . Everything is still the same. I'm just lying and bluffing myself. But one thing i know after drinking it my face turned red (like i put blusher) haha. My eyes became bloodshot and I'm feeling very hot. Maybe i never drank one whole bottle before in my life and this could be the after effect. My stubborn cough still not recovered! DAMN!!

I really can't shake those memories off. I wonder do you feel the same way too? Everything i do just reminds me of you. I'm feeling fucking irritated . i can't concentrate on wad ever I'm doing. I'm trying . i'm really trying . i try not to contact you. Try not to think of you . i try all sort of things but every part of my room is filll wif your memories and your presence. i still have lots of things nvr do wif you. i still rmb we wanted to do so many things tgth but now everything is over. i know i fucking caused it. I'm the one and i know you blamed me for all this. In your mind i just ruined everything. i never mend to hurt you. All i wanted is you by my side. Baby i love you. i know i should let go. it will be unfair for u. You have gotten him and i should not be jealous or bother wad you two are doing . but i know i can't. My mind will just get into a whirl and my imagination will go wild. I'm very afraid he will take advantage of you. =(. You just swept my heart away. Tell me that all this is not happening?

Labels: Return of the day we had before.

♥ツ 1:29 AM